There are those we meet who choose to be miserable; they are judgmental and narcissistic. Designing Your Ideal Life cannot help them. I know that probably surprises you, but it’s true. Then there are those we meet who truly want to change, but don’t know how. My book is written especially for them.
There are three main roadblocks that keep most of us from our sense of happiness and well-being. Typically our roadblocks are created by our own minds. To conquer our roadblocks is to conquer our fears.
The Negative Comfort Zone
Our negative comfort zone may be a job we cannot stand, a troubled relationship we don’t know how to leave, feeling trapped by overbearing friends and relatives – all three, or even other barriers.
Why do we stay? Why do we fill ourselves with uncertainties, doubts, fears and suspicions? Why can’t we seem to get out of the way of the bad comfort zone we have created? The simplest answer is that it’s human nature to want to be “comfortable,” even if it is coming at a great price and forcing us into a bad place.
The bad comfort zone can be a terrible trap. Worse, the bad comfort zone can be something we create that we can never seem to take the time to leave or have the energy to leave.
Designing Your Ideal Life has been written to help you take the steps to leave an uncomfortable comfort zone and find greater contentment and happiness.
“Oh I’m so busy! I just don’t have the time!”
So very often, I counsel people who want to change, complain of being completely overbooked.
They join organization after organization, participate to the extent that they help everyone else but not themselves, and can never refuse the opportunity to volunteer for anything. These are not bad things to do in and of themselves, but life must also be about balance. This clutter may include obsessions with social media (honestly, how many of those 600 friends are your friends?), television, online shopping, answering unnecessary emails, excessive and compulsive exercise and really – anything to fill the time to avoid change.
There is time to clear away the things that bar us from happiness; but they have to understand that too much clutter may be a sign you are avoiding change.
Humans seek approval; I understand that, but sometimes we surround ourselves with people who we allow to crush our dream of achieving happiness. It is a loving roadblock, but a roadblock all the same. Take the example of someone locked in a miserable job for many, many years. They want to try something new; something close to their heart. The person goes to their spouse or dear friend and expresses the desire to change. They are met with a ton of negativity as to why they shouldn’t try. Many times, it just crushes the dream.
Sometimes the people closest to you are the least likely to support you. This is understandable; they care for you – and are scared for you but on the other hand what about you and your life?
Have a plan. Discuss the plan with a trusted person and then present that plan to those in your life who really matter.
Negative comfort zone, clutter and border bullies can be overcome. Designing Your Ideal Life can help you with the foundation for making positive changes leading to happiness.